healing

here’s the things about heartbreak. it comes out of no where and wipes you off your feet. the pain is absolutely breathtaking, your head pounds, and your chest feels like it’s going to explode. emotional pain is a horrible form of physical pain.

you know you are going to heal, but it’s absolutely unimaginable. the pain is there for a long time. days, weeks, months. it’s no longer the physically crushing pain, but it is the type that makes your stomach cramp and forces you to forget to eat. You keep expecting to stop caring so much, but every day random things remind you of what you are trying so hard to forget.

healing isn’t instantaneous. it takes a long time, and it takes effort. you have to walk away from what is hurting you, which takes courage. you need to find what will help you heal, and work towards that. therapy, sunshine, and people are some of my favorites.

because one day, you will find yourself editing photos on a rainy day with candles lit in your cute, tidy apartment. your hard work will pay off. the love you have for that person will always be there, but your heart has grown bigger and they occupy less and less space. its scary, but you will find yourself at peace.

and hopefully in the future, you won’t be afraid of running into them in a bar or at the grocery store. maybe you will be able to have a conversation without your heart rate tripling and spending the next day bawling your eyes out in your parent’s kitchen while they try to comfort you. one day you acknowledge how badly they hurt you and how they could have chosen to not do that one thing if they had really wanted too.

still, your love for them doesn’t change. what does change is you; you fall in love with yourself. you become a new person and new worlds open up to you. and then you find healing, and that is a beautiful thing.

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